One thing that attracted me to my wife was the fact that neither of us wanted children. Why we did not I am not sure. It was probably because we were young and scared. But regardless we were not into kids. Then a funny thing happened, we were vacationing in Avon, NC and we were on the beach. We were watching a family play in the sand and the surf. It was a Mom, Dad, and a little girl. They were running and playing and splashing. Later they were building a sand castle. As we were watching them we realized there has to be more in life than just laying on the beach.

Later that day we went back to the “Love Shack” (it was the name of the house we were staying in, and this place was not a shack, more of a shanty, more of a dump. The pictures we saw were all lies!) we decided to try and get pregnant.

Skip ahead to a Thursday in October. Veronica was late and we sat in the living room staring at the unopened pregnancy test. She took the test and low and behold she was carrying a child. My response was, “Wow I am going to be a Dad! OK see ya I have to go to volleyball.” Then I left, more or less floated away to my car. I do not remeber the car ride or the volleyball game. Before I knew it I was back home, now shaking with fear.

This went on for months. A couple of days excited and ready to be a Dad, followed by a couple of day scared to death. The closer we got to our due date (May 30th) the time shortened between being elated and terrified. At the end I would go in 5 minute intervals of happy and scared.

May 6th 2004, Veronica had her first internal exam. The doctor stated the she would experience some cramping that night. Once again I was at volleyball. I came home to find Veronica watching ER. She was crying. It was an episode when someone had just lost her baby. At one in the morning I heard Veronica moaning. I asked her if she was ok she said, “Yes it’s just some cramping.” So I rolled over and went back to bed. An hour or so later I was woken again by moaning. Cramping got worse, she thought she was in labor. In all of my sensiblity I stated, “Did your water break? It’s just cramping like the doctor said. Go back to sleep.” She said her water had not broke so I was confident that it was just cramping. An hour after that the moaning got louder. I had enough. I sprung from bed and told her to call the doctor and tell him we are going to the hospital. I grabbed her bag and we set off at 4 in the morning. All the time I was thinking tomorrow is Friday and I am giving a test who needs sleep.

We get to St. Mary’s still being confident that this is all about cramping from her internal exam. They admit us and the nurse checks her and then says, “You are dialating.” I was like what does that mean? She said your baby is coming today. Ok boys set the terror alert to code brown because I need to change my pants!

Now my head was spinning. It’s three weeks early how can this be? So we started going through her bag making sure we have everything. Oops I forgot the camera. Yep in all my “confidence” I did not get the camera. I had no idea that my son would be coming today. Off to home to get the camera and realize that the house was not ready for a baby. I had three more weeks to clean the house. Now I have three days. Total panic set in. I am going to be a father to someone. Someone will depend on me. Someone will look to me for advice and to wipe his tears. Diapers, bottles, baths, a son, by the end of the day I will have a son! Oh crap will I be a good Dad? Oh crap he will need me. Crap crap crap, what have I done? I am not ready for this.

I get the camera and get back to the hospital. I storm ready to start breathing and all the other corny stuff I learned in those classes. Only to find out she is no where ready to deliver. The nurse tells me to go downstairs and have breakfast. Side note hospital cafeterias are NOT buffets. That breakfast cost me $15. Half of which I did not even eat.

After breakfast back upstairs to become a Dad. She was prepped and ready the doctor was set her Mom was there and so it began. All a total blur to me until I saw Danny’s head. Then the doctor turned him a bit and there I was face to face with Danny. My heart stopped it was by far the scariest moment of my life. That 2 second first face to face with my son had me sweating like a river. My heart dropped. Could I be a father? I cannot even take care of myself. Oh damn I am going to pass out. I told the doctor many many times I did not want to cut the cord. I was very loud about this fact. I am NOT cutting the cord. The doctor turned to me asked me to hold the scissors then screamed, “Cut it cut it!” I was so scared I cut it without thinking. Damn that doctor.

Then Danny was gone to be cleaned and tagged. The nurse asked me if I wanted to hold him. I could only shake my head yes. He was handed to me and I counted his fingers and toes. All ten! Yes! Then something odd happened. I was not scared, I was calm and collected, and then I cried. Not wild sobs, bit tears of joy.

Daniel James Americo Caponigro was here. Ron the Dad was also here. No longer scared but happy and calm knowing this is what I was meant to be, a Dad.

May 7th 2004 at 10:50 my true life began and my life has never been better…Read more at roncap.wordpress.com